part 2

ഏഴു മണിക്കൂര്‍ നീണ്ടു നിന്ന പഠനം ,ക്ഷീണിച്ചു  ഉറങ്ങിപോയി .ഉറക്കമുണര്‍ന്ന് ഹോസ്റ്റല്‍ കാന്‍റീന്‍ ലേക്ക് നടന്നു .ചില്ലലമാരയില്‍ പലഹാരങ്ങള്‍   അടുക്കിവച്ചിരിക്കുന്നു .കട്ടന്‍ കാപ്പിയും  കുടിച്ചു  കുറച്ചുനേരം  അങ്ങനെ ഇരുന്നു .ടെന്നീസ് കളിയും കഴിഞ്ഞു പിള്ളേര് കാന്റീന്‍ ലേക്ക് ഓടി വരുന്നുണ്ട് .മൊബൈല്‍ ഇല് missed   കാള്‍ തിരയുന്നു ചിലര്‍ .സായാഹ്നം അടുത്തെത്തി .റൂമ്കളില്‍ വിളക്കുകള്‍ കത്തിത്തുടങ്ങി.

                             തിരിച്ചു റൂമില്‍ എത്തി ,മനസ്സ് ആവേശത്തിലാണ് ..ഒരേ ആനന്ദ  ലഹരിയില്‍ ..ഹിരണ്യ  ഗര്‍ഭത്തില്‍ നിന്നും ഭൂഗര്ഭത്തില്ലേക്ക് പരായണം ചെയ്യുന്ന ആത്മസ്വരൂപങ്ങള്‍ .....കോടി വര്‍ഷങ്ങളുടെ  നിശബ്ദത..ആത്മാവ് ഒരു മനുഷ്യ ഗര്‍ഭം തിരഞ്ഞെടുക്കുന്നു ...ആത്മഭാവങ്ങളുടെ പ്രഫുല്ലനതിനായി  ...ആത്മ സാക്ഷാത്കാരത്തിനായി.

                           അനിതയെ ഒന്ന് വിളിക്കണം .പ്രത്യേകിച്ച് ഒന്നും പറയാനില്ല.എന്നാലും വിളിക്കുക തന്നെ.അടുക്കും ചിട്ടയും ഉള്ള സംഭാഷണം , സ്നേഹാന്വേഷണങ്ങള്‍ .കാന്റീനില്‍  സപ്പര്‍  ബെല്‍ മുഴങ്ങി   .ഇന്ന് നോണ്‍-വെജ് ആണ്.കുറച്ചു കഴിഞ്ഞിട്ട് കഴിക്കാം .കുറച്ചു നേരം വെറുതെ ഇരിക്കണം .നിര്‍മമമായ അവസ്ഥയില്‍ .....സ്വന്തം ആത്മ ചൈതന്യത്തില്‍ ലയിച്ചിരിക്കുക ....അതത്രേ സ്വര്‍ഗം .എത്ര നേരം ഇരുന്നെന്നു അറിയില്ല ....നിശബ്ദതയുടെ ആഴവും നിശ്ചലതയുടെ  ദൈര്‍ഘ്യവും അളക്കുവാന്‍  കഴിയില്ലല്ലോ ."നീ അത്താഴം കഴിച്ചില്ലേ ?",കൂട്ടുകാരുടെ ചോദ്യം എന്നെ ഉണര്‍ത്തി .വേഗം കാന്റീന്‍ ലേക്ക് .തിരികെ വന്നു വീണ്ടും പഠനം 

                                                 ഡിസംബര്‍ എത്തി ,ഇത്തവണ മഞ്ഞു കൂടുതലാണെന്ന് തോന്നുന്നു ,നല്ല കാറ്റും ഉണ്ട്. ഋതു ഭേതങ്ങള്‍ പ്രണയാര്‍ദ്രമായ മനസുകളെ നോവിച്ചു കൊണ്ടാണോ കടന്നു പോകുന്നത്? അതോ കാലം നിര്‍വികാരതയോടെ മനസ്സിനെ ഇക്കിളിപ്പെടുതി ചിരിക്കുകയാണോ ?ഓര്‍ക്കിഡ് പൂവുകള്‍ വിരിയുന്ന ഡിസംബര്‍ !എന്നിലും പ്രണയത്തിന്റെ നാമ്പുകള്‍ തളിരിടുന്നുവോ?അനിതയോട് ....ഈ മഞ്ഞു  അതിന്റെ ലക്ഷണമത്രേ....ഈ കാറ്റ് എന്ത് ഭാവിച്ചാണ് എന്നെ നോക്കി ചിരിക്കുന്നത്?

                      ആ ദിവസം, ഞാന്‍ ഏറ്റുപറഞ്ഞു ...എന്റെ പ്രണയം ,നെഞ്ചിടിപ്പോടെ!.അവള്‍ പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചു ...."കൂട്ടുകാരാ ..അങ്ങയുടെ പ്രണയത്തിന്റെ  അഗ്നിജ്വാലകള്‍ ഞാന്‍ കാണുന്നു...പക്ഷെ ഒരു കാറ്റു വീശിയാല്‍ അണയുന്ന നാളങ്ങള്‍ അല്ലെ അത് ...എന്നില്‍ പ്രണയത്തിന്റെ കനലുകലാണ് ..ഒരിക്കലും അണയാത്ത ..നന്മയോടുള്ള ...പ്രണയമത്രെ ..ഏകം ..അമര്‍ത്യം...അചലം ...അത് പാനം ചെയ്തു ലഹരി  പിടിച്ചിരിക്കുന്നു ഞാന്‍ ...ഈ കനലുകള്‍ അങ്ങയെ പോള്ളലെല്പിക്കും...പ്രേമത്തിന് അപ്പുറമുള്ള  സത്യം ഉണ്ടെങ്കില്‍ അവിടെ ഞാന്‍ ഉണ്ടാകും ..."അനിത പറഞ്ഞു നിര്‍ത്തി .............                വീണ്ടും ആ മായാത്ത പുഞ്ചിരി..!

                            

  

Marriage

Marriage is a joint travel.Your partner has emotions,sentiments & likes etc which you value or even not hinder,then the journey will be a pleasure trip!
               If it becomes a contract the possibility of its blooming is in danger. You purchase  the other. Then the purchased becomes a product,essentially serving some defined purpose only.  You degrade the other to a lower level of living being.Human beings have an innate yearning inside to express their own inner urges and get identified with those sentiments.If we do not allow it to happen depression happens.A depressed person can not give the other any happiness.Some times we hide the inside depression and act like we are happily living (at least in front of others),but any hiding your inside causes unwanted weeds to grow inside you.When you look , you see scratches and injuries  inside.
                                Marriage should give freedom to express yourself,because you have the support of your fellow,if u err, the fellow can correct you & you may not go wrong, if you live in ecstasy ,because you are well equipped to select the right only.You married the freedom,married the friendship and you are traveling with a companion..If all three happens.....Journey never ends!

Friendship

'Sathsangathe Nisangathwam' Says Sankaracharya.True friendship is detached!Detachment is the feature of true friendship.Any kind of attachment is not friendship.You need a string or a hook to get attached,a flexible string which makes you move  closer sometimes and distant in many occasions.The string is your own mind,which pulls and scales the distance to be kept with your friend Because attachment is a feature of your mind only.Nothing wrong in judging a person ,but  do not give up the feeling of connection,because you becoming a friend of some one is for no reason...just a coincidence!The cosmos gives you a chance to shower your pure love over your friend!And your friend needs the fragrance of you!
                                    Detachment means your friendship is moving ahead without any oscillation. Why you take deviation if you want to go straight?You keep the good relation intact as a treasure,locked,inside your heart.At times the friend goes wrong,the lock opens,and the affection heals and purifies the other.It demands nothing.Because you do not want to achieve anything..you are relaxed!.Friendship is endless and for no purpose,if  it is for a purpose and you are not achieving it, it hurts or you achieve it & the purpose is served & the friendship ends..A true friend can take the other to an upper room of ecstasy where all the trivialities of the world disappear!The windows of that room is open always,allowing the breeze to come in...you breath the pure air...taste the eternity....allowing the friendship to blossom perpetually......!
                        
          

Corruption.

Anna hazare goes on a hunger strike against corruption in our country.He wants more strict rules to fight corruption.Great move from the veteran leader!
        India is a country preserving high values.It has rich heritage and tradition.But India tops in corruption list ,now.Rules can be made to arrest corruption.Our jails become crowded once strict rules are imposed.Corrupt people can be jailed,but not corrupt mindedness.It will find out loopholes and the process will continue.
            Corruption is a kind of disease...Polluting the air by bad words is corruption,polluting the purpose of a good project by tapping money illegally is corruption.The more you grab the worse will be your suffering,And you think this money will free you from suffering,No,To get rid of this mess you accumulate more...You become a reservoir not a river .River flows and gives ,reservoir binds & fouls .You become a victim of your greed.
               Accumulating money in proper way is  great.You , becoming a kubera is fantastic.Then the affluence gives you enjoyment . Anything which can not be properly used for your satisfaction creates suffering.It is not the style of living but state of mind that matters.World  is challenging you continuously to upgrade your style of living.If you go on upgrading your style, it's an endless process..But if you reach a state of mind of completeness, then the only thing needed  is that you have to sustain that state.. .To reach a good state of mind you should follow some values.You should value others too..If the planet earth is having more number of corrupt people the life here will disappear within ten years!It is high time that these people should scan their system and get the viruses out of their minds.We must get back the money looted from us.
             India develops so fast,we are losing our values even faster.No education to protect our values.Education is given only to make students capable of earning money.Utility theory.West has practiced this theory.. .Anything which does not spin money is useless there...including retired parents!

Independence,,,

Society wants dependence.It teaches you unwritten rules,do's & donts etc.It does not cater to your own individual needs and feelers,it tries to contain you and fit you to a dress which is tailored not in your size.It has pre -owned attire ,you bend and bow down to wear it! They wanted you to be inside the format or forum .Then  social acceptance is the reward!If you are too straight they say you are an oldie...too smart you are pervert!You are being ruled by incapable...Slowly you accept the dependence.
         If you like to enjoy the breeze in paddy fields, society thinks you are awkward.You go to a second show in theater it is OK,You go to a club and inebriated you are' FIT' in the society!Go to a river and swim,you are illiterate! Have a jacuzzi and not bath at all ,you are yo-yo!Society attributes features and structures to you.It reduces your being into a remote control robot ,it directs you, when to smile and how many inches you open your lips.Buying a new dress and not going to church for a showdown, what use?In a new vehicle you go to club,you see a high priced one there .alas!Too much dependence on society!Social clubs are polluting the very air by gossips ,garbage and liquor bottles.
             Live the way you are.If you feel like you want to sleep,sleep well without guilt,you may be blessed by a sweet dream!If your inner being likes to feed an animal do it now.If you proceed with right actions satisfying your own intuitions and awareness, you can find out, society is a dust bin and people there, sit atop the Heep of garbage.And if you are self confident why you need a certificate from the society?You have enough of  inner treasures inside your being, intact.You do not need a fragile frame from the society to adorn yourself!

                         
                

Bouquet & bonsai..

  Most of us have dreams during night, related to some events that happened in the child hood days.Touching portrayals of schooling ,vivid extracts of people and events that came across during early ages.Why?We were intense and passionate then.A school tour,getting new dress,a feast....it is like our very being jumps out of us to celebrate events.I remember the long waiting for the yearly feast in our church...to ear the first beat of the drum...and the whistling of local band set ...the shopping from 'vechu vaanees' (street vendors),the night drama..etc.
And the most ruthless day in the life, going to school  the very next  day of the feast because a full year to wait for the next feast!
        When we become middle aged the intensity goes down, we do not have solid body memories and we lose the sweet dreams too!Going for a tour and you are not thrilled,you kill some money...cursing the vacation spot...taking snaps...reassuring that you had your vacation .Getting something new and you are not excited means you spent some money to prove in front of the society that you are still rich!Logical satisfaction...not for your senses..And your neighbor goes for a better buy your logic betrays you!
                A person who lives with his senses enjoys the moments of happiness derived out of any action.He does not mind  the logical appraisal and outcome of events happened to him.Live your way of happiness..Ecstatic...!Like a child!

Recoveries from audit.

   Towards the end of auditing in our branch, came a fever .A viral fever,suddenly raising my temperature to 103 degree.In the morning i thought i would go to hospital for consultation and then straight to office to take part in the final audit discussion So i instructed my wife not to come with me.I drove my car myself and reached the multy specialty hospital.To my distress i found myself too weak and pale ,i could not queue or go to pharmacy.I felt the kind of a small giddiness....And i thought i am alone in this world....despite the fact  that a thousand telephone numbers are in my mobile touch screen!
               Suddenly a woman appeared in front of me and directed me to the casualty,there i got an injection.When i stepped out of the room i saw she was waiting for me .She did the billing and handed over the medicines .I felt some relief and my eyes got to see everything clearly...I saw her carrying the kid who is crying and coughing continuously&waiting the child specialist..I paid her the bill amount saying nothing ,even not asking her name...because i was still in drowsiness.  I went to office,the tamilian auditor smiled and said "Go and take rest,excellent rating for the department!" I returned home .

              I got into a deep sleep under the influence of medicines....slowly i went into the realization that we are alone and true to our self.. but always attended by some one....We are infinite...An emergency comes...The supreme power will bull doze the difficulties and jack you up!A tiny seed falls into mud and emerges itself as a beautiful plant having full of flowers!A bowl of food converts itself into blood within no time through digestion!Miracles galore!!!